After sexual assault it is normal to feel scared and in shock.
You may feel nauseous or tired. You may feel numb and disconnected, or feel as if you are living in a daze. At the same time you may feel incredibly anxious and uncomfortable in your body.
You may be in physical pain from internal or external injuries.
You may find yourself reliving the event and blaming yourself, despite not giving consent.
You may be asking yourself: why me? What did I do to deserve this?
To each person reading this article, I am sending care and support-
I am sorry this happened to you, it should have not happened to you.
You did not do anything to desserve this. The person who did the assault is 100% to blame, not you.
You are going through a lot physically and mentally right now, please know you are not alone and there is support out there to help you through this time.
1. The number one priority after sexual assault is YOUR safety and well-being.
If you are immediate danger please call 9-11
If you are physically injured please go to the nearest hospital for support.
2. Consider reaching out for help from a sexual support centre.
It is normal to experience confusion, fear, reliving the experience and finding your mind is replaying the event over and over again after an assault.
It is important to talk to someone you can trust and feel safe with following a sexual assault or rape. You may not feel comfortable to talk to anyone you know, and that is ok.
There are local helplines and support systems for women and people of all genders who have experienced rape or sexual assault. You might talk to someone on a free and confidential phone support, you may choose to access a transition house or temporary shelter, or you may talk to a counsellor.
3. Consider seeking medical help
Immediately following a sexual assault it can be helpful to seek help at your nearest hospital or urgent care centre to get support medically and psychologically.
The clinic or hospital may give you medications to prevent contraction of sexually transmitted infections and/or unintended pregnancy.
They may also collect a forensic sample, complete a medical and/or legal report and refer you to support services.
You will have choice about if you would like any or all of these services, and you can decline these services if you do not want them.
The nurses and doctors may be specially trained to help you. In British Columbia, they give you options for legal action, and will follow your direction and choice on how you want to proceed.
They may also be able to give you a note excusing you from work for medical reasons that honour your confidentiality and privacy.
In Vancouver we have a specialized sexual assault service at VGH and UBC hospitals please read here for further info and resources.
4. It is your choice to report to the police
You may be under the impression that you are required to report the person who assaulted you to the police. There are many reasons why you may or may not report sexual assault or rape to the police.
Many people who experience sexual assault are still in flight/fight freeze mode immediately after assault and may not feel capable of reporting right away. You may choose to report at a later time.
You may or may not choose to report because of the impact on your life it may have or your connection to the perpetrator. There is no right or wrong choice when deciding to report to the police.
It can be helpful to talk to a sexual assault centre, staff at the hospital or a counsellor about whether or not to report to the police. They can help support you to make the choice that feels right to you at this time.
5. Connect in with your existing supports
It is important to reach out to people who truly understand you and you feel safe with. You do not have to feel ashamed that this happened to you. Think about who are the people who love you and you believe that you can trust to support you and if you feel comfortable reach out to these people.
You do not have to share what has happened to you with anyone you do not want to (for any reason) or who you suspect may be unsupportive. Similarly you do not have to share any details with anyone that you do not want to, even if they are a friend or a support.
6. Take time off from work or school if you can
After experiencing sexual assault you may find it difficult to be present in social situations or at work or school as you find you have intense emotions coming up during the day or may feel disconnected from yourself. If possible it is important you take time off to rest and find good support for yourself.
You do not have to share the details with your employer or workplace of what has happened to you, but you can ask for time off for medical reasons.
7. Listen to yourself to discover what you need most right now.
Only you know what you need at this time to attend to yourself. No one can tell you what you need after suffering a sexual assault.
Take time to breathe and ask your wise self: what do I need right now? Will this help me feel better or worse? What would someone who cares about me tell me I need right now?
All of these suggestions in this article are just suggestions. Remember that your situation is unique, and you will be know what will work to help you through this difficult time.
Laws and supports are different in different countries and provinces, please connect with local resources to find out what is available to support you.
Remember, you are not to blame for what happened to you.
What has happened to you does not change your worth or value as a person.
You are important and loveable and deserve to be respected.
Resources for support:
For Immediate Crisis support in Canada (and British Columbia):
Salal Sexual Violence Support Centre: Immediate emotional support is available on a National Toll-Free 24Hour Crisis and Information Line at 1-877-392-7539, and via Salal Connect text at (604)245-2425
For support in British Columbia and Yukon please call
Victimlink : is a toll-free, confidential, multilingual service available across B.C. and the Yukon 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and can be accessed by calling or texting 1-800-563-0808 or sending an email to 211-VictimLinkBC@uwbc.ca. It provides information and referral services to all victims of crime and immediate crisis support to victims of family and sexual violence, including victims of human trafficking exploited for labour or sexual services
Please feel free to reach out to us at Emotion Wise Counselling to seek supportive and confidential counselling by email info@emotionwise.ca .
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