I’m going to be honest with you, I have been a therapist for over a decade and I still find myself occasionally struggling with imposter syndrome. Most days I feel proud of my work and feel that I am a skilled therapist - this is especially true when my clients are feeling better and I am busy.
On these days I feel as if I am making a difference in the lives of people, as I had originally dreamed when I decided to enter my Graduate program in social work. I find myself doubting my abilities occasionally when there is a lull in new clients, when I am feeling tired, or when therapy does not progress the way I hope.
Perhaps you have found that like myself, your belief in your own abilities seems to be swayed by what is happening outside of you (results, praise, how busy or full your calendar is, negative feedback, cancellations), rather than inside of you.
We often think of imposter syndrome as only affecting new graduates while they gain experience. We tell new professionals to fake it until you make it and to think positively and challenge negative assumptions.
I’m here to tell you that will help, but it is not the solution.
Yes! You do become more confident as you become more experienced and start working in an area you are skilled that suits your interests and abilities. The feedback you receive from colleagues, supervisors and clients, especially critical feedback, is essential to improvement in your field, and an inability to see that may hinder your progress and your skill in your career.
It is important to be continue to learn more and improve your skills throughout your career- we can never "rest on our laurels" , in any field with ongoing innovations, research and theories that are constantly emerging.
Reframing your thought processes when experiencing imposter syndrome is an important skill. For example, instead of saying I’m a horrible at my job because of this one piece of feedback, consider looking at the big picture and taking the feedback in context to other feedback you have received- you may find that overall you have received good feedback and better able to learn from the critical feedback and change certain processes or way of working as you learn to take feedback in a less "all-or-nothing" fashion (not all good or all bad).
However, more often than not imposter syndrome is coming from a deeper place of “I’m not good enough”. “I have to be perfect” that stems from earlier life experiences growing up. These may not be recognizable traumatic events, but events that affected you negatively including: social exclusion, bullying, neglect, and chronic invalidation.
These seemingly common events can result lack of self-confidence when confidence is warranted.
If this is you, I recommend finding a therapist to explore where these beliefs are coming from. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is an excellent therapy with a strong evidence base in treating anxiety and increasing positive self-beleifs.
EMDR therapy allows you to process these events from the past and gain new perspective and increased confidence. I can attest to the power of EMDR with a good therapist- my EMDR therapist helps me tremendously to grow as a person and consequently as a therapist.
Yet, let’s be honest, as I much as I believe in the power of therapy, if we look a little deeper at the issue of imposter syndrome it is evident that imposter syndrome is not just an individual problem. Feelings of unworthiness are cultivated by our society as a whole when achievement is put on a pedestal to define the worth of someone’s life.
I’ve noticed that my children have learned early on to say “I’m not good at anything, I’m not the best” as if being the best is what makes life worth living. When we meet someone new we ask what they do for a living, rather than about their family connections or relationships to the land, as is common in Indigenous customs.
A recent KPMG study showed that 75% top female leaders questions their competency*, wow - even at the highest levels achievement women are questioning their abilities. Imposter syndrome affects those who have the least privilege the most- multiple studies have shown that women and people of colour struggle with imposter syndrome at a higher rate than white men**. Imposter syndrome, likely not a syndrome at all, can happen when you do not see people represented from your gender, culture, sexual orientation, or background who are in the field or workplaces. Imposter syndrome makes total sense when you understand the context of our society including patriarchy and white supremacy and colonialism.
I hope that this piece on imposter syndrome will inspire you to have greater self-compassion for yourself in your field of work, and also recognize the role that privilege and oppression can play in cultivating imposter syndrome.
If you would like to work with one of our EMDR therapists on increasing your confidence at work, improve your self-worth, and understand the role of social factors in how you have learned to define yourself-worth do not hesitate to reach out today.
We have counsellors and registered social workers in downtown Vancouver or virtually who can help you today You can book a free consultation directly at emotionwise.janeapp.com
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