Spiritual and Religious Abuse Therapy
Have you suffered from spiritual or religious abuse?
Sometimes our deepest and most formative relationships and experiences were intertwined with spiritual abuse and control. Leaders who had spiritual authority may have abused their power and used God or a spiritual purpose or practice to justify their abusive actions. Spiritual abuse may have consisted of coercive control but also could have included sexual and physical abuse.
Spiritual abuse can be very confusing because within the spiritually abusive environment you may have had many positive and memorable experiences of belonging, learned valuable teachings, gained important friendships as well as participated in meaningful work in the community, such as volunteering and helping others. These positive experiences do not excuse the abusive and controlling behaviour that you have experienced.
Spiritual abuse can happen across all beliefs systems and cultures in many different forms. Your abuse may have happened in a church, mosque, temple, retreat centre, spiritual self-help program or a meditation centre.
What are the signs of spiritual abuse?
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Controlling who you can talk to about negative experiences you have had within the spiritual or religious group
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Asserting that everyone (and their beliefs) outside of your group is wrong or cannot be trusted and those inside of the group are the only ones who know the truth or can be trusted
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Controlling how much time you can spend with others and/or who you can and can’t spend time with within the group
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Controlling what type of learning or media you can take in, and discouraging critical thinking or doubts of views held by the group.
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Telling you to cut off relationships with family and friends or romantic partners who are not a part of your group
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Requiring a high level of vulnerability and sharing about your life and traumas, without adequate support, and later using these disclosures of abuse to highlight your faults or weaknesses.
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Encouraging you to quit your job or school to devote your time or life to their cause and providing free labour to advance the personal lives and financial state of the leaders
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Religious leaders who always point out your faults or errors yet are not open to others’ criticism or feedback
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Spiritual abusive leaders talk down or diminish their critics and do not tolerate any outside or inside criticism
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An inner circle makes decisions behind closed doors without explanations, without giving rationale or allowing input from other members.
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A strong emphasis on authority and not questioning the decisions or beliefs of the leaders of the group
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Publically shaming and pointing out the faults or behaviours of members who do not meet the leaders’ or religious community’s standards
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A absence of processes to report abuse by the leaders, or if there is a process they are investigated by those who support the leaders and reports of abuse are discredited, dismissed and the victims are blamed for their abuse.
How to Heal from Spiritual Abuse
The process of leaving a spiritually abusive environment can be complicated and take time to unravel the effect of your religious trauma. It can feel like a huge loss to have suddenly lost many friends and even family when you leave or distance yourself from these religiously abusive environments.
You may struggle with suddenly losing faith in a belief system that guided your life in major ways for many years and find yourself deconstructing and trying to make sense of your beliefs outside of this environment.
Healing can take time and consists of processing trauma with a trusted counsellor, and working through the grief and loss associated with losing both a community and a shifting belief system.
At Emotion Wise Counselling we provide a space to process and heal from spiritual abuse and rebuild a life of meaning and joy. Our counsellors have worked with people from all different religious backgrounds, sexual orientations and gender in their healing from religious and spiritual trauma.
Connect today for online and in-person Vancouver counselling to find a counsellor who understands spiritual abuse.
